Playing the long game

My least favorite part of film production is waiting. We say “Hurry up and wait.” I have to be at set by 5:30 AM… but the first shot won’t go off until 11. I have an hour to shoot five angles of a scene, but we have to pause for 30 seconds after each take to check the gate. Film production is a painstaking process of working as quickly as possibly—to unload the truck, to set the shot, to move the set pieces—and then waiting—for the scene to play out, for the camera crew to reset, for hair and makeup to give last looks. I really don’t like waiting.

My distaste for waiting is an asset as a producer. If something isn’t getting done, I make sure it gets done. I will secure the location, book the studio teacher, buy the craft services food. Get shit done.

I carry that impulse into organizing. My friend Mayra and I planned an action in Madison Square Park a few years back: we secured permits, we created pedestals, we recruited participants. I can do it all, I think.

There are times for doing and, I’m finding, there are times for waiting.

Martin Luther King, Jr. reminds me that “the arc of history is long.” I can see that in my own life: it took me 18 years to come out, it took my parents three years to really accept me. At 26, I still learn something new about myself daily.

Are you in it for the long haul?

Creating change—lasting sustainable change—takes time. It’s easy to sign a petition or to show up at a protest or to donate money to charity. It’s harder, for me, to identify and root out privilege in my own life: the times when I participate in and benefit from racism/white supremacy, transphobia/cis-centricism, sexism/male privilege. It’s harder for me to confront my friends and family on issues that matter, and to wade through the muck to finding healing and reconciliation for us all.

I want to be in it for the long-haul, so I’m committed to changing myself just as I seek to change the world, and in creating and investing in lasting structures while I try to help meet immediate needs.

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I’ve been rejuvenated over the past few weeks as I’ve examined my goals and actions and vision for the future. And I’ve been inspired to hear back from you about the positive ways my writing is landing with you. I want to go deeper, so I’ll be announcing a new offering soon. If you get dispatches delivered to your inbox, you’ll get first dibs tomorrow (Friday). I’m really excited to share it with you!

Photo by Jeremy Noble