What Needs To Change Will

What do you want to do?  Who do you want to be?

I want to propose a specific way of answering these questions and approaching life.  My mom has been helping friends make “Dream Lists” for decades (long before Randy Pausch’s The Last Lecture).  The idea is simple: make a list of ten dreams.

These should not be projects or goals, but big sweeping dreams for your life.  They should also be personal, not “I dream for world peace,” but if that is something you dream about, perhaps your dream is “I want to inspire every head of state to end their wars and occupations.”  I don’t know… it’s your dream not mine.  It’s important to locate yourself within each of the dreams.  Here are mine:

• Design & Program a light and/or water installation or attraction (think Super Bowl Half-Time Show or Disney World’s IllumiNations)
• Be fluent in Danish (“learn Danish” was not a big enough goal, if I can say “tak for mad,” is that enough?)
• Visit every continent (I thought about limiting myself to the 6 continents people generally live on, but decided, “Hey, dream big!”)
• Go on an archeology dig
• Know my family genealogy and visit the towns of my ancestors
• Murphy Family Compound (it’s a childhood dream that my whole family, and our families, could live together a la the Jackson Family Compound. I’ve ditched the gate and added friends to the mix, and it still sounds like a wonderful dream)
• Direct a feature length movie
• Shoot captivating & compelling photo-art that is publicly consumed (art gallery, NYTimes, whatever…)
• Create sources of passive income that I can live off of

Recently, I’ve also added “Launch a successful social business.”

The point is, in identifying these dreams, I don’t need to be limited by reasonableness, practicality, or achievability, I can simply dream.  Take a moment now to write down 10 of your dreams.  And remember, dream big foolish wonderful dreams, don’t worry about setting timetables or next actions. Just make sure that they are big, and that you will be clear when you’ve accomplished them (see: my Danish dream).

The next step is NOT to break these down into projects and action items. I suppose you could do that and if you want to try that, by all means, go ahead; I am going to propose something different–it’s that small things matter and what needs to change will.

Small Things

I am finalizing “A Menu of Small Things” which provide a selection of small things you can start, stop, take up, or change to help you tune into yourself, your values, and the world around us.  I think you’ll like it, so stayed tuned and check back (sign-up for updates by email to get early access).

On my tasting tour of Small Things, I rarely made “big” decisions or changes and when I did, they usually seemed like the logical next step–and exactly what I wanted!  Here are some of Things That Changed while I’ve been on my diet of Small Things

• I like living with people, I will move into a house with friends
• I enjoy creating websites & interacting with social media, I will do that (for free) for some friends & non-profits I know
• I have a wide variety of passions and I don’t like being tied to a Monday – Friday, 9 – 5 job.  I will begin working on small projects to build my own business
• I will apply for web design jobs as I find them
• I will take a job for a non-profit, and a 50% pay cut, to do web development full time AND work from home
• I will be conscience of where I spend my money, I will make giving a regular activity
• I will seek out other clients to diversify my experience and skills

My shared house in Brooklyn and my set-your-own-hours, work-for-yourself lifestyle is pretty different than the luxury studio apartment national television network lifestyle I used to have, but each step was a (relatively) small one, it brought me closer to my dreams, and it was supported by a strong foundation of Small Things which gave me the mental and emotional support I needed.

Can I “check off” any of my big dreams yet?  No, but I can see that I am moving toward it. My life experiences as a social activist, non-profit founder, and small business owner may provide opportunities for speaking, consulting, or book writing and my web development work may lead to themes or software I can sell.  When I was offered a job in Boston working on a feature-length movie, I took it, scary as the decision to move away for 4 months was, because it would move me closer to one of my dreams.

Let’s Get Real

At this point, there are two things that may make you pause is this possible? and how will I make this real? To answer the first, I will try to show that, yes, another world is possible and then provide you with some tips, tricks, and steps to help set a new course for your life.

By the way, “What Needs To Change Will” can also apply to family relations and social change, if you so desire, but that is another post perhaps.

Photograph: David Reece / CC BY-SA 2.0