You Know What Your Dreams Are

Ash over at The Middle Finger Project recently wrote an article on NOT following your dreams. “They” (who is They anyway?) say to be controversial in your blog posts in order to be successful and I know she’s using a bit of hyperbole for the sake of argument. I mean, the website is called The Middle Finger Project! I get a lot of what she’s saying: too often we just follow the pack even when we say we’re following our dreams, we need the experience and insight of others to help refine our path, and even rejecting the status quo can be a clique of its own. So now what?

Ash opens her article by saying, “You know, this whole “follow your dreams” thing is getting a little old.” The article rests primarily on her observation that “WE HAVE NO IDEA WHERE WE’RE RUNNING TTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” and yes, I whole-heartedly agree with that. So many people, myself sometimes included, don’t really know where we’re headed or even where we want to be headed. When my mom first helped me make a list of 10 dreams it took me an hour. When I try with friends, sometimes they are NEVER able to write down on paper ten dreams. We may be able to cutoff other drivers on the freeway or download music without paying for it but when it comes to saying “Hey, this is what I really want out of life,” too often we clam up. Are we afraid to say it outloud or do we really not know?

And here’s where I disagree with Ash. Or perhaps, where I point out that Ash in the end disagrees with her own title It’s that following our dreams is not some hippy dippy feel good exercise in driving around the country for months on end (:cough: Way Below Status Quo :cough:), though it might be. Figuring out your dreams is necessarily the first step to following them. So yes, I encourage you to follow your dreams. Absolutely positively 100%. If it ever gets old, then we aren’t doing something right.

How do I figure out what my dreams are?

So if the first step in following your dreams is finding them, how do you find them? My approach to advice is not to give it. I believe that each person is the best equipped to answer their own questions. Instead, I ask questions and make observations. Whether that’s relationship advice, career advice, or “do I look fat in these jeans?” advice. Here are some tactics which I found helpful in clarifying my own wants, dreams, and needs.

• Visit friends in other states, visit friends who live in a different type of neighborhood than you (rural, suburban, urban, gated community, low income)
• Start practices you’ve never tried before (yoga, prayer, daily walks, reading, watching TV, shopping)
• Stop practices that you think are integral to who you are
• Read books
• Find folks in various fields or lines of work, ask them all sorts of questions
• Take a spontaneous vacation
• Eat lunch or dinner in public by yourself
• Take up a hobby that interests you, even if you don’t think you can (or want to) be paid for it

I’ve tried each of these and they taught me bits and pieces about myself and the world around me. Another excellent place to start is A Menu of Small Things. It’s chock full of small things you can change… to change everything!

What About You?

What are your dreams? Are they truly your own or what the world around you glorifies? How have you begun to follow them? What is holding you back?