If you want to get in shape fast, you hire a fitness coach. If you wanna change careers, you might hire a career coach. And if you want a relationship, or you want to improve upon an existing one, you might hire a relationship coach.
Hey, that’s me!
Today, I want to give you a peek inside the work that I do, so that you can learn more about what relationship coaching is, and decide if a relationship coach might be right for you.
Last week, I talked about a big mistake that I realized that I had been making in my relationships, and what I’m gonna do to address that. And I was able to come to that realization because I was working one-on-one with a coach.
Even though this is my job and I have lots of training and experience in relationships, even I still sometimes need a outside perspective.
I think that we all do, really. A supportive place with a trained professional to help me get clear on my deepest values, what I really want and desire to help me figure out where I’m stuck, and most importantly, what I’m gonna do to move forward. So, today, I wanna walk you through what relationship coaching is, why you might wanna work with a relationship coach, and what to look for in a relationship coach.
Why might you want a relationship coach?
If you’re looking to open up a relationship, or you want to get clear on your own personal sexual ethic, or you’re looking for some support as you navigate your own unique relationship challenge or opportunity, I offer practical, supportive, one-on-one relationship coaching.
Here are some things that you might cover in relationship coaching.
- Define a sexual and relationship ethic for yourself
- Create a plan to open up a relationship (and then work through issues as they come up in this new relationship structure)
- Navigate a new or evolving relationship. For example: changing from dating to being official, Learning to see and share your needs, your desires, figure out your sexual compatibility, or how to structure the relationship, what the future might look like and more.
- Figure out the relationship structure or structures that work best for you.
- Work through and unlearn sex negativity, and internalized slut-shaming.
- Unpack shame around your sexuality and your desires, and learn how to claim all of that juicy goodness.
- Identify the religious messages that you’ve received around proper sexuality, and then figure out what to do with all of that. What’s helping you? What’s getting in your way? What do you wanna hold on to? What do you wanna let go of?
- Practice healthy, nonviolent communication, and conflict resolution.
- Develop personal practices and practices in your couple, your triad, your foursome, or your moresome, to support yourself and your relationship or relationships.
What is relationship coaching?
Relationship coaching is you-focused. It’s all about what you want out of your life, and your relationship. It’s not about following someone else’s formula or script, or a 10-point plan to gay dating bliss. This is about what’s important to you, and how you’re gonna get there.
Relationship coaching starts from a place of wholeness. You are already enough. More than that, you are absolutely capable of achieving your relationship goals with effective support, information and guidance. That’s what I’m here for.
Relationships take work but they don’t have to be hard, and you don’t have to go at it alone. Pop over here to apply for a free discovery call, so we can see if we might a good fit to work together.
If you think you might benefit from relationship coaching, it’s time to start looking for a relationship coach. Of course, you can work with me, but there are other coaches out there.
What is important to look for in a relationship coach?
First and foremost, you wanna look for someone with training and some sort of credentials or certification. You’ll want to find someone who really takes it serious, who has put in the time and the effort to get education, training and credentials so that they know what they’re doing.
This is your life — your love life — in their hands, you want to make sure that it’s in good hands!
Be sure to look for someone who has some results to show you. Just because the coach is sexy, or has a successful relationship themselves doesn’t necessarily mean that they can be helpful to you. Look on the coach’s website for some testimonials, or ask them if they can put you in contact with a former client who can talk to them about what the experience was like working with them.
One of the most important things is connection and chemistry. This is a relationship just like a friend relationship, or a romantic relationship. You want to make sure you’re working with a coach that you can vibe with, that you trust, that listens well, that you feel like understands and gets you, that you feel comfortable with.
If you’re not comfortable with your coach, you’re not gonna be able to be honest. And if you can’t be honest, you’re not gonna get the best results. So, look for someone that you have a good connection with.
Their background and the perspective that they’re gonna bring to the coaching relationship is also important. Now, a really good coach can coach just about anyone. That’s what we’re trained to do. And also, it’s not helpful if you need to spend much of your time in coaching or in therapy explaining yourself and your perspective to your coach. You don’t want to have to explain queerness to your straight coach, or you don’t want your monogamous therapist thinking that the open relationship itself is the problem. So working with someone who has a similar background to you, or has lots of experience working with folks in similar situations to you is going to allow you to just get going faster, and see results sooner.
If you want to find love, create a committed relationship, rekindle romance, open up a relationship, or improve your sex, dating or relationship at any number of other ways, I’ve got your back.
Like I said, chemistry is important. And so, head on over to briangerald.com/apply to apply for and schedule a free no-obligation discovery call to see if we might be a good fit. We’ll get clear on what it is that you want, where you’re stuck, and we’ll begin to chart a path forward for you.
I can’t wait to talk to you!